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In Vino Veritas

February 12, 2011

WSJwine from The Wall Street Journal
P.O. Box 551
Montoursville, PA 17754-9969

February 12, 2011

Dear WSJwine,

 If ever you discerned prizes for the most grateful recipients of one of your Discovery Club wine shipments, I would like officially enter my name in to nomination.

I moved to my current residence four years ago.  At the passing of my friend, a saintly man who had limitless patience, I inherited his condo (the lower half of an old Victorian).  In the transfer of deed, I inherited so much more.  The place came with one of the crankiest elderly ladies you have ever met.

Ah, the joys of living underneath that woman upstairs.  I am talking a “Duplex, the movie+” sort of morning, tuba band-style!  Luckily for me (who teaches night courses and sleeps late), bright and early this morning the WSJ Wine club delivered a shipment of 12 delightfully fruity reds so that we can enjoy the day.  Not two minutes after the FedEx man drove away, then in pulled a car with two Latino gentlemen wielding large belt sanders and shop vacs and more.  Apparently, the old gal, who can’t be bothered to maintain anything else in her apartment properly, has decided to resurface one of the floors.  We were sure that for the hour at which they arrived, they would be respectfully quiet.  NOT!  And the whole place shouldn’t smell like urethane for too long and aggravate everyone’s allergies, right?  And with the way that she fusses over paying for anything, my partner Gregory says that it is like buying something off the TV–not only do you get the advertised product, but you also get some free hair barrettes.  We wonder what extra little service she will extort from these poor unsuspecting immigrants.  If we hear her start shouting “La Migra”* we know that she is refusing to pay or that they aren’t working fast enough.

Wish you were here to help us enjoy one of these bottles of elixir with us—9AM isn’t too early to crack one open, is it?

Fondly,

JRW 

+Duplex was a very funny movie with Drew Barrymore and Ben Stiller–rent it and you will want to pee your pants as you watch!

*La Migra is how the US immigration service is known to Latinos–if you hear it shouted, you know to run because there is a raid on!

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Marion permalink
    February 12, 2011 5:56 pm

    She’s probably resurfacing the floor that she does the “clog” dancing on early in the morning. Heavy Yoga excersise will scare the floor surface.
    And could they not buy the urethane that doesn’t sink. They do make some you know. Migrane to follow???
    Follow Charlie Sheens advise: heavy drinking will take care of most of it…still bothered…haven’t drank enough!!!

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